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A body scan
Very recently, I read the book “When Breath Becomes Air“. It is a slim book written by a young neurosurgeon, Paul Kalanithi, during the terminal year of his cancer journey. What I heard is a doctor explore the question of identity – how it changes when significant health related events happen. He talks at length about his own identity, the one that is inseparable from his vocation, when he is weakened by cancer and can’t be the neurosurgeon any more. The book made me question how my own identity has shifted in time, with changes in my health after five decades of trodding on this planet. I have already lived longer than Paul, much longer. I am healthy. A little worn out perhaps, but who isn’t. Today, I invite you to join me as I undertake a body scan meditation, to observe this health-identity relationship.

Foraged chestnuts



A cabin shaded by tamarisk trees






The tamarisk grove campground is at the intersection of two roads, S3 and Hwy 78, and shaded by large tamarisk trees, an invasive species. There are some nice short hikes in the vicinity including the Yaqui Wells trail. From the Bill Kenyon overlook, you can see the broad San Felipe wash by 78. The famous slot canyons are only 10 miles away.
A mesa in Cuyama Badlands




A camping trip

For most people, a camping trip is common place. Not for us. We are city people, having grown up and lived most of our lives in metropolitan areas. We know how to visit museums and eat at restaurants. We appreciate books and movies. We can even attend festivals – jazz, coffee. When it comes to life skills, it is summarized by our ability to hike a few miles and our ability to cook up a meal anywhere. Have we changed a car tire or pooped in the wild? No sir, but theoretically speaking, we knew how to. With that in our back pocket, we decided to go camping.
Most people camp in summers – the days are long and nights are warm. But we love the deserts. There is something romantic about deserts that no other place captures for us. Our last desert trip was Joshua Tree. And compared to that trip, we had Antarctic ready winter gear. This Thanksgiving, we decided to camp at Tamarisk Grove in Anza Borrego with a camping head start in Cuyama Badlands.
Read the rest of this entry »An incongruous Halloween this year
This year has progressed at a breakneck speed and I am catching myself unprepared every day. Halloween felt equally unprepared. Imagine a politically charged year with the election day less than a week away. Then imagine trick o’ treating, which has struggled in the aftermath of pandemic. Add to it the fact that the day coincided with Diwali, a festive and vibrant festival of lights. The incongruity of it all added to the confusion, I wasn’t quite sure how to celebrate.
But I was determined to improve upon last year. I watched Babish eat and rank 60 candies (link) to rank his personal favorites. Last minute scouring the web for four of his favorites, we managed to get our hands on nerds and sour patch. Result, the kids declared our house, the best house ever. Check.
I scrambled last minute to set up the decorations. After racking my brain between Halloween and Diwali, I decided to go on a tangent with Buddhist prayer flags. Check.

If you prick us, do we not …
…bleed? That is the question. This moment is dedicated to my sister-in-law who posits that Haldiram’s bhujia flows through our veins.


This was the year of attending a panjabi wedding, our cousin’s, the youngest in the cohort. Monsoon rain was falling outside and inside the home, we were being rained on by boxes of high quality sweets and namkeens. It would have been rude not to eat even if one could self control. There is no self control so we arrived at a compromise. First, I convinced myself that ethical and environmental impact of wasting all the good stuff far outweighed health hazards. Second, some good people on the internet suggested that sweets can be frozen and revived. So, we ate the namkeens and froze the sweets. If you have never tried a mathri chaat and egg for breakfast, I highly recommend that you do. We are now on a monthly ration of sweets. Typically on the first of the month, a rationally rationed vaccum sealed bag is being opened.
A touch of red


Fall harvest

While the leaves of this thai citrus are broadly usable – from perfuming the plain rice to perfuming rich coconut curries, the fruit is challenging. Small as golf balls, and almost equally hard when green, they do look non-conforming with their bumpy, warty skins. They yield very little juice and for most part, they are astringent and bitter. Far more bitter than bitter orange. In a prior year, I salt cured the makrut lime fruit and used the cured lime in Indian style cooked pickle i.e., lots of ginger and green chilies. A friend gave us vodka cured makrut that we have been muddling in our cocktails. Most years, I let the fruit ripen and use its juice. The act of ripening reduces the astringency of the juice. Here was my attempt to wrangle the fruit this season.
Read the rest of this entry »Meet my other half

To learn a little more about the MicroLab Marvels, start by imagining a conveyor belt sushi restaurant. Everything you send down the belt, gets gobbled up by the little guys who work on the laboratory floor. The floor is no more than 10 meters long, but the little guys are really little. There are a 1000 times more bacteria in my gut than there are stars in our galaxy. Now imagine these quadrillion tiny scientists busy at work in the factory. What they are doing is processing the the food and converting them to metabolites. Metabolite are small molecules. Most drugs are small molecules. Are you starting to see why this chemical factory matters?
There are as many of our own human cells with my DNA as there are theirs. Hence, my other half! Sorry, husband. You are my soul’s other half. Besides, when people live in close proximity, they share the biome heavily. So, my half is your half too…
For the longest time, I had associated gut microbiome with nutrition – mentally limiting their role as a food processor that helps breakdown the food we eat into accessible macro and micro nutrients. But it is only recently that I have started to pay attention to their role in chemistry, and how that chemistry impacts our biological pathways like immune, hormonal and neurological systems. Yikes! I used to think of fiber as bulk – didn’t matter whether you got it from a diversity of plants or from a psyllium husk capsule. It turns out, I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Long story short – after 6 months on a plant based diet and seeing its impact on chronic health issues, I am a convert. I still sneak in a can of sardines here and there and rely heavily on deliciousness of eggs to jumpstart my day. And thank goodness, coffee, chocolate and cocktails are integral parts of any plant based. But, I am trying to pack as many diverse plants as I can in a week, in a day, in a meal. I registered with a CSA (hello, Freedom, CA…) and got my vegetable garden started.
Just a cup of coffee
On one of the Indigo flights, a young flight attendant gave me a free cup of coffee along with a handmade card, some well wishes and free snacks. I was touched. I had asked for a cup of coffee assuming it was complimentary. It turns out that Indigo has a new rule. There is no free cup of coffee. You can no longer buy a cup of coffee either, you can only buy snacks and when you do, the coffee is complimentary. I had found that biz strategy curious and had wondered out aloud if there was any “cup of hot liquid” that wouldn’t be attached thusly with a snack. When handing me the tray full of the goodies, she said that it was because I made her smile. Perhaps it was an apology of a human on behalf of a corporation. Perhaps it was just a whimsical human gesture. It wasn’t just a cup of coffee.





Gurgaon vignettes


A wanting …
… that money can’t buy. I have a deep fondness for jamun (Syzygium cumini), also known as black plum, java plum, or Malabar plum. There is nothing plum like about it unless one is referring to the deep purple color. Last time I ate fresh jamun was during the monsoon of 2009 (link). I now believe that stars have to align to find fresh jamun.


An early morning in Gurgaon

The scales in the chatGPT image might be a bit awkward, but the rendering above is awfully close to what I see out the high rise balcony this morning. I was delighted to see the parrot colony that my mom-in-law has been painting.




Kolkata vignettes



Cooking for mom – Shukto
Shukto is a non-alcoholic aperitif made with a medley of seasonal vegetables that is eaten as the first course. The list of ingredients would do Tim Spector proud. Traditional meal starters in Bengali households in a bitter but fortunately, not a shot of campari! The bitter ingredient in shukto might have been bitter leaves such as neem or bitter gourd leaves in the past, but modern cuisine uses the bitter gourd. The complexity of cooking a mixed vegetable dish comes from the different cooking times of the individual vegetable. In a prior version of the dish that I had learned to cook from mom, I didn’t parboil the vegetables. But this time, I chose to do so. It takes the worry out of cooking them to perfection and Bengalis are a bit pernickety when it comes to cooking the ingredients perfectly.



For 2-3 servings, you are looking at approximately 4-6 cups of vegetables in appropriate balance, 2-3 Tbs mustard oil, 1-2 bay leaf, 2-3 red chilis, 1/2 tsp of mustard seeds, 1/2 tsp of radhuni (wild celery), 1/4-1/3 cup milk. Sometimes, turmeric is not used in order to preserve the milky white color. But turmeric is good for you and the color of gold is equally appealing.
Read the rest of this entry »A stubborn horse at the end of the world

The place is Ushuaia, the locals like to claim it is fin del mundo (end of the world). It is a little town in southernmost tip of Argentina where we stayed a night at Arakur resort before embarking on the epic journey to the real end of the world, the Antarctica. It is wondrous how Negrito, the stubborn horse. fits into my tale.
In a nutshell, it was the year of saying yes. And having never ridden a horse before, we said yes. I said yes to Negrito and the better half said yes to Cerrito (darkness). In hind sight, we should have said no. But when you are staring at the end of the world – the placard as well as the prospect – it is easy to feel reckless. So what if helmets were nowhere to be found at Arakur’s horse riding ranch. And so what if I didn’t understand the tour guide’s instructions and they didn’t understand me.
It turned out that Negrito was a stubborn one. Frankly, I wouldn’t have known a stubborn horse from an agreeable one if it weren’t for Cerrito. Cerrito appeared happy-go-lucky following tour guide’s instructions. Negrito on the other hand, was singularly focused on finding grass to munch on. Perhaps it was the difference in their ages. Negrito was a much younger stallion and as far as I could gather, it hadn’t been fed or it had a healthier appetite. It kept going off course in search of greener pastures. And it didn’t pay much heed to the tour guide’s tsk-tsks. I could barely rein him in. And every time I did, he let me know he wasn’t happy one bit. It would neigh or huff with displeasure. When the tour ended, he decided to drive me through a thorn bush just to let me know that while I was temporarily riding him, he was the boss at all times. Thankfully, it was cold and I was bundled up, and the thorn bush didn’t leave a permanent damage, just a temporary dent our new found enthusiasm for saying yes.
Here are some of the beautiful views of the area surrounding Arakur.

When Goddess Durga turns to caregiving

This is the last chapter of a story, a duet, that started more than half a century ago. The first chapter started with introduction of a healer into a young woman’s life. In the intervening chapters, the woman becomes his wife, and subsequently, the mother of their children. I, the observer, often see Goddess Durga in women like her. There is but one difference, Durga was born a warrior, her singular purpose was to slay evils with her many hands. During the last fifty years, this woman has been using her hands to multi-task – an educator, a planner, a book keeper, a cleaner, a fixer, a gardener, a cook, a caregiver, a poetess, a singer, a playwright.
In the final chapter, she has devoted all her hands to one singular purpose, keeping the healer nourished while he undertakes his sannyasam. The healer has fallen in a deep slumber while he undertakes this sannyasam. This story will end when he completes his sannyasam. What follows is a glimpse into the everyday, the Goddess creating nourishing elixir so the healer can successfully conclude this duet.
Read the rest of this entry »A plummy shower

This summer, the plums ripened earlier than they have done in previous years. The tree is still young, perhaps best described as a young teenager. One of the best ways of harvesting fruits is to shake the tree. And if you are under the tree, the ripe plums shower down on you. They fall with a gentle thud, sounding like a bunch of tennis balls let loose. A few may hit you on their way down, a gentle thud on your head, or a nudge on your arm.
The first batch of fruits this year, unripe green plums, came from culling. They reminded me of gooseberries with their tannic tartness and so I made an Indian style plum pickle. It tastes like unripe mango pickle. A batch of the green plums are salt fermenting. The ripe ones are turning into jams. The first jam batch is always our most labor intensive one – we start with the ripest fruits, we take the skin and pit out, add cassis. The subsequent batches are left with the skin in. The scraps make a fine vinegar.
Standing under the mulberry tree

My relationship with the mulberry tree matured into something beautiful this year. We had planted the tree nearly seven years ago. I remember our surprise upon learning that Pakistani mulberry grows well in Redwood City. If we are lucky, the mulberry tree will live to be 150. If we are careful, it will stay pruned to a manageable size. Previous fruiting seasons, our wild squirrels would jump up on the fruit laden branches and rid them off the fruits. This year, they decided to leave the tree alone and there is more bird activity instead. The birds too like sitting on the mulberry branches and picking off the fruits. But unlike the squirrels, they pick what they eat. They are nice guests too, they pick the fruits that fall on the floor.
Read the rest of this entry »The tug of duduk
I have loved the haunting sound of duduk for over a decade now. And it all started with a simple sleep app that played music in a loop. Along with other pleasing natural sounds, it also had duduk music. First the word got my attention. When you say the word out, it sounds like the vocalization of your heartbeat. There was no coming back once I heard the music, it is visceral and soulful and it lingers. I wonder if we really understand why music has the potential of transcending distances – the distance of time, space and culture. Perhaps it is because wind carries the music and wind connects all of us on this planet.
Read the rest of this entry »Climbing up a blade of grass
The other day, I noticed what to me seemed like an odd behavior – a snail had climbed up on a blade of grass. This was Bair Island and an unusually warm May evening here in SF Bay. Then I noticed more of them. The likeliest scenario is the liver fluke or as an eye catchy headline says “Brain-altering parasite turns ants into zombies at dawn and dusk (link)”. I am choosing to think that they are the teenage snails who are out for a thrill, swaying crazily as the grass blades sway hither and thither with the Bay breeze. We know that the Orcas ramming boats are bored teenagers too!

Aangan house garden this summer

… we had grown la ratte potatoes (link) more than 14 summers ago. Back then, I was disappointed with the yield. I have since realized that the trick to growing a vegetable patch, particularly in a suburban yard, is not to think about the bountiful yield but to focus on the bountiful happiness instead. The happiness of watching vines grow and flowers bloom. The happiness of watching butterflies and bees flutter and buzz about. The happiness that comes from learning about culinary practices elsewhere. Like the Hoja Santa (link) with root beer like flavor. In my case, I have found my garden to be an excellent anxiolytic.
Read the rest of this entry »Aangan House, an anemoia

Our home! This summer marks the 10th year we have resided here, the longest we have been in any one home as a family, and the longest I have lived anywhere. The house itself is over 90 years old. It has strong bones. I wish that no tree was harmed in its making, but our home, and homes like ours, wiped out California’s old growth Redwood forests. And now, while I am trying to untether myself from my existential guilt of living in a 90 year old house that is built with a 1000 year old tree, Philip Stielstra is planting Redwood trees up the Pacific northwest to give them a chance against climate change (link).
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